Monday, July 9, 2007

The Toilet Snorkel

U.S. Patent issued in 1982. Courtesy Patently Absurd.

Here in the United States, we have some pretty weird gadgets. Take, for example, the Toilet Snorkel.

If you are trapped in a burning building, toxic smoke inhalation poses the most immediate threat. So, an inventor thought that sticking a tube down the toilet would be a good place to find fresh air.


When is the last time you said: "Gee, that toilet probably has some pretty nice-smelling air inside it." Or: "Gee, I wonder what it would taste like if I breathed the air from inside the toilet pipes." Or: "Gee, the toilet is the only place I can find fresh air in this bathroom filled with smoke."


What about the sink? What about the bathtub? What about getting the heck out of the bathroom filled with smoke before you need to resort to finding the toilet snorkel, unpacking it, reading the instructions, sticking sewer air into your lungs, and burning to death while you're sucking on toilet juices.

Hmm...toxic sewer air or toxic smoky air? I'll take the smoke. It's more sanitary.

I just don't get the Toilet Snorkel. Can you help me translate?


Geedos said...

That's genius!

I hope there's a training manual that comes with this?!?

After all, you wouldn't want to risk misplacement in the bowl. Imagine inhaling deeply only to suck up the toilets deposited contents by accident rather than breathing clean(?) air.

Excuse me while I vomit at the thought.

Is it safe to assume the inventor isn't living off the millions he's made from selling this "product" ?!?

Translator said...

Geedos - yep. I assume the inventor is still a starving student. Or perhaps just starving. Thanks for the visit, and come back soon!

Burfica said...

ummm no I can't help you, I'm completely baffled by this. Maybe it's just another word for "really big bong" who knows, maybe you stuff the weed in the tank, and you got the water in the bowel, so now you got yourself a bong. hehehehe

Translator said...

Burfica - I hadn't thought of the bong idea. It's very possible! ;)

Adria Balgassi said...

Oh my goodness... too funny... and gross.

Anonymous said...

That is quite the invention. Who knew you could invent a hose?

Anyway, I'm more baffled by what the man is wearing. I mean that's a pretty sorry combination he's got going there.

paisley said...

i guess a couple of hits off the old "methane bong"... and none of that smoke really matters anymore!!!!!!

tom said...

I found you on Chinglish and I'm glad I can I get my own snorkel??

Beenzzz said...

This contraption works best in the homes of people whose S--- doesn't stink. Perhaps, Madonna? BARF!

Translator said...

Good points, all of you!

Adria - sorry, it is kinda gross. ;)

Morriconei - Yep. Purple never goes with orange.

Paisley - I agree. That would just about do it.

Tom - Glad you found me! Um, I 'm not sure you can buy them yet.

Beenzzz - Madonna probably has one or two of these.

Thanks for the comments, people!

JT said...

lmoa...seriously this is funny :)

Gaddy Bergmann said...

Ha ha ha! That's a great one!