Sunday, July 15, 2007

Toilet Landing Lights

U.S. Patent, 1993.

One of the most popular subjects on this blog has to be the language of toilets. I've posted many times on "potty humor", and those posts have always been my most popular. I can't explain it. It must have something to do with my readership. Well, here's another:

Have you ever had to use the restroom in the middle of the night? Sure, you have.

But have you ever tried to use the restroom without those pesky lights that make you squint? Sure, you have. And you probably fell in, right?

Well, no more! Thanks to the amazing and futuristic Toilet Landing Lights! Flip the lid, and you'll feel as though you've been teleported to the Death Star, ready to evacuate your waste into the furthest reaches of space.

But seriously, "landing lights" sounds like you're parking something really big in a hangar, or something.

That's right, buy your own set of Johnny Lights, today! (Batteries not included).

I just don't get the language of Toilet Lights. Maybe they just need a better name.

Can you help me translate?

From Patently Absurd.


Steph said...

How about BAGS?

"Big Ass Guidance System"?

I love your sense of the absurd. What a great find your blog is!

Gaddy Bergmann said...

Ha ha! I like this one. But do you think it would keep your dog from drinking there?

Translator said...

Steph - Ha ha! BAGS! Good one!

Gaddy - I'm not sure. Good question!

Thanks for the comments, guys!

tom said...

I like bags too, I really can't think of anything snappier

Jaya said...

Hey, I kinda wanted a set of these, but after going to their site and watching the highly informative video, I learned that the lights ONLY go on if you raise the toilet seat. Since I sit on the seat to do my business, I wouldn't get to see the cool lights. Unless I got up at night and just went in to raise the toilet seat. I cry discrimination!! I think this product is more fun for men than it is for women. But, come to think of it, peeing in general is probably more fun for men than it is for women. At any rate, it's way easier for you men to write your name in the snow with pee...

And Translator, just what IS it about your site that brings out this sort of conversation from your visitors?

Beenzzz said...

Something about having spotlights on my rear end....well, it makes me think that voyeuristic gnomes are in the toilet.

Translator said...

Jaya - it's only more fun for UNMARRIED men. Those of us with wives need to keep the seet down, too. ;)

Beenzzz - I haven't seen any gnomes, yet. But thanks for the info.

Xposure Managed Networks said...

How about...The Loominator:)

If you could hook it up to the seat cover, it might also be appreciated by women...

toilet light fan said...


How about Toilet Star?

toledo painting fan said...

toilet lights are in need of a serious face lift. Did you ever google them? and see the patents out there?