Monday, June 4, 2007

OFRO The Robot Guard

We now travel to South Korea, where scientists have developed the world's first robot designed to protect children. Dubbed OFRO, the contraption "...could be useful in alerting staff in case outsiders intend to seduce students. "

Seduce students?

What is this, the world's first mechanical chastity belt? I guess seduction is a major problem in South Korean schools. Not drugs or violence. Just seduction. A little wine, a little candlelight, and...

Anyway, whatever happened to good old human labor? Or fences? Don't you think schools should safely keep their children on school grounds using fences and HUMAN security guards? I mean, the article said OFRO "...is able to patrol pre-programmed routes or it can be controlled by a human..." Ok, so if you're gonna have some guy driving the damn thing, why not just pay a security guard?

Here's a better idea. Save the remotely-operated robots for the battlefield - where we can save the lives of our soldiers. And let's design the thing a little better:

Let's call it OPRAH! What do you think?

I think it would scare the hell out of our enemies! Now that makes sense.

Or what about AFRO? That would be awesome!

South Korea, you've got some splainin' to do about OFRO. Robotic seduction-preventing guards? That's the best you can do?

I just don't get it. Can you help me translate?


Via Shoutwire.

9 comments:

Splantrik said...

If you can't get Oprah, maybe you could get Orco. He hasn't had any work for 20 years or so.

Translator said...

Orco! Hahahahaaaa! I forgot about the little guy! Thanks! But I think he's got a gig out in Vegas.

Splantrik said...

I just looked him up in Wikipedia; his name is actually spelled Orko. 4332.027 apologies.

paisley said...

i think it would be best employed by fathers of hot teen age girls!!!!!

Translator said...

Yep, Paisley. I think that's probably the best use for OFRO.

;)

Beenzzz said...

Love the AFRO, it looks like Disco Stu (stew...how do you spell that?)

exigent said...

You know sticking an Oprah head on stuff works for almost anything. Really it does, and it's comedy gold! Also there's not much that can stop me from seducing students, robot be damned!

Translator said...

Yep, gotta love the Oprah head! Thanks for visiting, Exigent!

Translator said...

Beenzzz - I think it's Stu (for Stuart). But disco stew sounds pretty interesting. Do you eat it with a fork or a spoon? :)