Friday, August 17, 2007

Spamlation Translation : One


Does anyone take the time to appreciate Spam, these days? It can be quite entertaining. The following is an actual email that I received today:


FROM THE DESK OF
THE DEPUTY GOVERNOR
RESERVE BANK OF SOUTH AFRICA.
370 CHURCH STREET PRETORIA 0002,
P.O.BOX 3925 PRETORIA 0001,
SOUTH AFRICA.


PAYMENT AUTHENTICATION.

I AM DR. RENOSI MOKATE DEPUTY GOVERNOR OF RESERVE BANK OF SOUTH AFRICA, MY OFFICE MONITORS AND CONTROLS THE AFFAIRS OF ALL BANKS AND FINANCIAL INSTITUTION IN SOUTH AFRICA CONCERNED WITH FOREIGN CONTRACT PAYMENTS.

I AM THE FINAL SIGNATORY TO ANY TRANSFER OR REMITTANCE OF HUGE FUNDS MOVING WITHIN BANKS BOTH ON THE LOCAL AND INTERNATIONAL LEVELS IN LINE TO FOREIGN CONTRACT SETTLEMENT.

I HAVE BEFORE ME LISTS OF FUND, WHICH COULD NOT BE TRANSFERRED TO SOME NOMINATED ACCOUNTS AS THESE ACCOUNTS HAVE BEEN IDENTIFIED EITHER AS GHOST ACCOUNTS, UNCLAIMED DEPOSITS AND OVER-INVOICED SUM ETC.

I WRITE TO PRESENT YOU TO THE COMMITTEE AS ONE AMONG THE SIGNED/APPROVED CONTRACTORS, AND DUE FOR THIS FUNDS TO BE TRANSFERRED INTO THEIR ACCOUNT AS A FOREIGN CONTRACTORS, ON THIS NOTE, I WISH TO HAVE A DEAL WITH YOU AS REGARDS TO THE UNPAID CERTIFIED CONTRACT FUNDS.

I HAVE EVERY FILES BEFORE ME AND THE DATA'S WILL BE CHANGED TO YOUR NAME TO ENABLE YOU RECEIVE THE FUND INTO YOUR NOMINATED BANK ACCOUNT AS THE BENEFICIARY OF THE FUND'S AMOUNT $32,000,000.00 (THIRTY TWO MILLION USD).

AS IT IS MY DUTY TO RECOMMEND THE TRANSFER OF THESE SURPLUS FUNDS TO THE GOVERNMENT TREASURY AND RESERVE ACCOUNTS AS UNCLAIMED DEPOSITS, I HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO WRITE YOU BASED ON THE INSTRUCTIONS I RECEIVED RECENTLY FROM THE FINANCIAL COMMITTEE ON CONTRACT PAYMENTS /FOREIGN DEBTS TO SUBMIT THE LIST OF PAYMENT REPORTS / EXPENDITURES AND AUDITED REPORTS OF REVENUES.

AMONG SEVERAL OTHERS, I HAVE DECIDED TO REMIT THIS SUM FOLLOWING MY IDEA THAT WE HAVE A DEAL/AGREEMENT AND I AM GOING TO DO THIS LEGALLY. MY CONDITIONS ARE AS FOLLOWS.

1. YOU WILL TAKE 35% OF YOUR CONTRACT FUNDS AS SOON AS YOU CONFIRM IT IN YOUR DESIGNATED BANK ACCOUNT.

2. THIS DEAL MUST BE KEPT SECRET FOREVER, AND ALL CORRESPONDENCE WILL BE STRICTLY BY EMAIL / TELEPHONE THAT I WILL PROVIDE FOR YOU, AND THEY ARE PRIVATE FOR SECURITY PURPOSES AS TO FORESTALL INFORMATION LEAKAGE.

I WILL ADVISE YOU ON WHAT TO DO IMMEDIATELY I HEAR FROM YOU AND THE TRANSFER WILL COMMENCE WITHOUT DELAY, AS I WILL PROCEED TO FIX YOUR NAME ON THE PAYMENT SCHEDULES INSTANTLY TO MEET THE SEVEN DAYS MANDATE.

WAITING FOR YOUR REPLY SOON.


YOURS SINCERELY,
DR. RENOSI MOKATE.
DEPUTY GOVERNOR,
RESERVE BANK OF SOUTH AFRICA.


Spamlation : Give me your personal information you stupid American so I can rob you blind.

9 comments:

Lord Likely said...

I am rather hungry now, for some reason.

Translator said...

Mmmmm....SPAM!

Crabbie (aka Deb) said...

Amazing how that spam gets around! I have the same, or nearly the same, email. It's funny how transparent it seems as far as what they're after; yet, I worry that maybe older folks might fall for it.

Samuele B. said...

I know a man that fell for that kind of spam. And its not an "American" thing at all, it happens everywhere. The man I mentioned is from Austria and when he lost all his money he was living in Bolivia.
I get mails like that too, some with such sad stories, they all seem to come from Nigeria, which is weird.

Translator said...

Crabbie - I agree with you. I'm afraid some people may actually fall for it.

Samuele - Wow! That's a very sad story! It is kind of weird that they all seem to originate in Nigeria, or somewhere in Africa. Thanks for stopping by, and I hope you come back soon!

Burfica said...

my boys love spam.

OOOO I got an e-mail (I sell avon) that a person wanted to buy huge quantities of avon, and thier associate from florida would send you a money order of money owed to them, and you would pay for the avon and send them the rest of the money. Their money order however is counterfit. ummmmm no thank you. What asses.

Translator said...

That sounds pretty sketch, Burfica. No thanks, indeed!

And I'm glad that your boys love spam. Apparently they go nuts for the stuff over in Hawaii. My friend says it's available on burgers at McDonalds over there. At least I think that's what he said.

tom said...

Scary thing is some people respond to those emails!!

Louise said...

I got 8 notifications last week that I had won the UK lottery, worth millions, I didn't even have to buy a ticket!
Amazing, but someone must reply to this junk otherwise they wouldn't do it I suppose.