Thursday, August 16, 2007

The Duct Tape Bandit

The Duct Tape Bandit, AP Photo.

You have to speak the Language of Stupid to understand the actions of Kasey G. Kazee of Ashland, Kentucky.

After wrapping his head in duct tape, botching a liquor store robbery, and getting caught in a feeble attempt to flee, Kazee had the audacity to say "Hey, you got the wrong guy. I'm not the duct tape bandit!"

Yep. And I'm not the Translator. Guess I don't speak STUPID very well.

By the way, good luck getting that tape off. It might sting a little.

Absolutely True has a great roundup of the story, too.


14 comments:

Debo Hobo said...

Looks like he reached his breaking point. Poor thing he is so pitiful.

Translator said...

Great point, Debo. Pitiful he is. Thanks for stopping, come back soon!

Matessa said...

Wonder what was he thinking?
And getting all the duct tape off: OUCH!!!

Translator said...

Yes, Matessa. I think getting the tape off would be the worst part! Thanks for visiting! Hope to see you again soon!

Matessa said...

Parla italiano?
http://www.repubblica.it/2006/06/sezioni/scienza_e_tecnologia/wikipedia-2/cia-vaticano/cia-vaticano.html

Thought you'd like that article, it falls under the "what were they thinking" category...

Gerri said...

haha.. this guy is ridiculous. Love this story... the cops said he was sweating so badly that getting the tape off didn't hurt him, I say that's a shame.

Gerri said...

Something else made me think of you today, Translator:

"...who at the time was staying with their mother – a self-confessed drug attic." Wait, what?

This is also, unfortunately, local to me. I want to contact the author and ask if they write much?

http://www.upstatetoday.com/news/2007/aug/17/times-are-getting-tough-clemsons-mcelrathbey/

Jaya said...

Did you all see the video of him? Very odd. Swearing that he's not the duct tape bandit... "Look, do I look like the duct tape bandit baby? Now look, do the math, do the homework man."

Translator said...

Matessa - I will use my Translator Skills to translate your page into English from Italian. Or perhaps into Jive. Or Redneck? I'll give it a try! Thanks!

Gerri - It's a crazy story, ain't it? And I think the typo thing is more of a curse, really. Once you start looking, that's all you see. EXCEPT IN MY OWN WRITING. I seem to skip write over thowse wons.

I'll check out the story that you suggested, too! Thanks!

Jaya - I haven't seen the video. I'll have to find it! So I can do the mentioned math homework.

Thanks all!

Gerri said...

Oh I really do hope you will see the video and do the math, do the homework that he is talking about... lol.. Do I look like the duct tape bandit? I ain't no duct tape bandit baby, do the math, do the homework!

Do the translation.. please. :)

Translator said...

Translation - He's a math teacher that had a horrific dryer-repair accident.

B. N. Sullivan said...

I'll bet this guy is the sort who would put his tongue on a freezing metal fence post on a cold winter day to see if it really gets stuck.

Sheesh.

What was he thinking? He wasn't!

Gerri said...

ROFL.... ;)

tom said...

I'm thinking, Darwin Awards, I don't think you have to die to get one now.