Translating Kidspeak : One

Having spent the last four years with Girl Translator and Baby Girl Translator running around the Translator Estate, I’ve slowly gathered the knowledge necessary to accurately translate the Language of Kidspeak. Not since the Rosetta Stone helped us to decipher the lost mysteries of ancient Egypt, has modern man attempted a translation project of this magnitude.

Here’s the first installment of my monumental translation endeavor:

“Yes, I cleaned my room.”

Translation: I shoved my dirty clothes into the corner and put stuff in piles around the room.

“My legs don’t work!”

Translation: I don’t want to go to school, even though there is nothing physiologically wrong with my limbs.

“I don’t have to go potty.”

Translation: I will have to go potty in three or four minutes, which may coincide with the start of our car trip.

“That’s mine!”

Translation: Anything my little sister touches is desirable since she has shown interest in it.

Stay tuned for more. I'm working on it.

Why Am I So Lucky?

Why am I so lucky?
Why are they so beautiful?
Why are they so perfect?
Why are they so innocent - they don't know how they've changed my life, my world, my everything?

Why do I have the lens caps on my binoculars? Is it symbolic? Is it a joke? Is it a mere oversight?
Why do the kids have their backs to the camera?
Why are there no penguins in the photo?
Why do all the sentences in this post start with "why?"

Why do we often overlook the things that matter most in this world?

I just don't get it. Can you help me translate? (These do not start with "why").

Casa Bonita

Our next journey takes us to the heart of old Mexico - to one of the finest Mexican restaurants in the world - Casa Bonita.

Ok. It's in the middle of Denver, Colorado, and the food is just mediocre. My family and I just happened to grab some dinner and entertainment there this evening.

You may remember Casa Bonita from a little show called South Park:

The similarity is striking. It's almost as if Matt Stone and Trey Parker have actually been to the restaurant. Several times. Many times, in fact. Here's the scene from this evening (Nikon D70s):

And here's the scene with Cartman (and follow link to hear Cartman):

Uncanny.

Also, it looks like Cartman ordered the same thing I did : the beef deluxe dinner - all you can eat, baby! Can you guess how many tacos I ate?

But what's the point of this post? It's obviously not just going to be a shameless endorsement for the restaurant. I can't argue, Babygirl Translator and Girl Translator both love it. But that's not what this blog is about. I want to get down to the nitty gritty about the cultural phenomena that make us unique.

So, what's unique about Casa Bonita?

We ate in a cave tonight. That's unique.

And we ate food that came out of a can - with lettuce and cheese on top. The point is, you could serve yesterday's monkey shit from the zoo and kids would still flock to Casa Bonita, pulling their parents (and their wallets) behind them. It's not about the food - it's about the waterfall, the cave, and the...the...guy in a monkey suit always threatening to jump from the shadows.

The Waterfall (from whence Cartman lunged)

The point of all this, is that some time in our life we switch from an emphasis on entertainment to an emphasis on culinary perfection. We no longer need monkeys singing and dancing...we just need a nice glass of wine and a thick juicy steak. I'm not saying that I don't enjoy some dining fun with the kids, every once in a while. I'm just not sure when (or why) the culinary growing-up-switch is activated.

I just don't get it. Can you help me translate?

Howard's Translation: "Only go if you have kids. They are the only ones who understand the appeal, but prepare to roll your eyes. A lot."

Sapheyerblu's translation: "If we keep their attention placed on the divers, they won't notice how nasty the food is".