Quick Translations : Ouch!

Quick Translation : "When you wear too much mouse cologne."

Your Quick Translation : (Leave a comment!)

People that Park Like Idiots Really Tick Me Off

Today, my budding translators, I'd like to discuss the language of bumper stickers. Bumper stickers can be funny, bumper stickers can be offensive, and bumper stickers can be downright stupid. One of my favorites, is the one pictured above from I Park Like An Idiot.Com.

That's right. You, too can order your own pack of 10, 40, or 100 and keep them in your glove compartment. Then you'll have them ready for the opportune moment.

I've ordered some. And believe me I'll use them. Why?

The other night at the mall, I couldn't find a parking space. Not because there weren't any spaces available. But because there weren't any USABLE spaces available due to the morons like the ones below who were ruining the whole parking experience for the rest of us.


Ok, so the last one is a bit over the top. But come on! Is it really that hard to park your car? I just don't understand people that park like idiots. But they all deserve little yellow bumper stickers the say "I Park Like an Idiot".

Do you have any examples of other interesting bumper stickers? Can you help me translate?

Photos from I Park Like an Idiot.Com.

And don't forget to send me a Postcard!

Happy Fourth of July!

Photo courtesy The Onion.

Flaming Freddy says: "Be very careful. Even sparklers can kill."

Translation: "Have a safe and happy Fourth of July!"

Why Am I So Lucky?

Why am I so lucky?
Why are they so beautiful?
Why are they so perfect?
Why are they so innocent - they don't know how they've changed my life, my world, my everything?

Why do I have the lens caps on my binoculars? Is it symbolic? Is it a joke? Is it a mere oversight?
Why do the kids have their backs to the camera?
Why are there no penguins in the photo?
Why do all the sentences in this post start with "why?"

Why do we often overlook the things that matter most in this world?

I just don't get it. Can you help me translate? (These do not start with "why").

Truck Nuts

Let's begin our journey into the unknown by stepping right outside my front door, here in Colorado.

Yesterday, on the way home from work, I spied a truck with something "extra" hanging off the back end. Upon further examination, I was assaulted by the image of two, giant, blue - truck nuts.

Are those....?....yes, they are! I thought.

As seen in the image above, I guess truck owners can now order these online for various reasons.

I guess one reason would be to show that one's truck is "manly".

I guess another reason would be to show that a truck's OWNER is manly. Although, if that's the case, I don't see how projecting one's "manliness" to the rear hitch of one's truck would accomplish much of anything. Plus, wouldn't it hurt if you take a dip too fast?

I just don't get it. Can you help me translate?

Howard's Translation: "I have a small penis and must compensate."

Beenzzz's Translation: "The small penis thing PLUS, he still wets his bed."