Keystone, Colorado

We now travel to beautiful Keystone, Colorado, where my good friend Splantrik has met me for a few days of R&R.

It's an awesome resort, even in Summer. Lots of outdoor activities for everyone - boating, fishing, hiking, swimming, and of course, my favorite pastime - eating.

The Snake River.

Yesterday, we went for a hike along the Snake River. Saw lots of barn swallows, and the scenery was amazing.

I think we're off to rent a boat on lake Dillon and to do some fishing.

Back to translating tonight.

Extreme Hiking

We now travel to Xian, China where we will attempt to understand the language of extreme hiking. Mount Hua (Traditional Chinese: 華山; Simplified Chinese: 华山; Pinyin: Huà Shān), is one of the "Five Sacred Mountains" of China.

Apart from housing several prominent Taoist temples, Mount Hua offers breathtaking views to any tourist brave enough to attempt the ascent.

If you're interested in wetting your pants from fear, I suggest you give Mount Hua a shot. Featured on Photo Blog by Atul Gupta as one of the Top 5 most dangerous roads, the hiking trails on Mount Hua offer even the most experienced climber an opportunity to vomit from vertigo.



Look like something you would enjoy? Well, strap on a diaper and get climbing. Because you're only half way up.



The chains are very strong, so there's nothing to worry about. Risking death while vacationing is something that so few people get to experience these days. And no, I'm not talking about the Tower of Terror ride at Disney World. That doesn't count. But you should definitely try it.



If you manage to survive the ascent, the temples look quite amazing. Worth risking your life? I'm not sure. That depends on the person. And the life insurance policy held by that person. And how much that person hates living. And how much that person likes dirty underwear. Have I referenced bodily functions enough in this post?

No?

Crap that looks high up. There. That should be enough.

The family and I will be going camping in Rocky Mountain National Park this weekend. I'm sure we'll be doing some hiking. But extreme hiking? I don't think so. Does anyone have any extreme hiking stories or favorite hiking spots they would like to share?

Extreme hiking: I just don't get it. Can you help me translate?

A Bitey Evening

Mrs. Translator, Babygirl Translator, Girl Translator, and I went for a nice walk this evening. In this case, our travels took us to suburban Colorado, right outside our house. But the subject of this post concerns travelers worldwide: the language of nature.

We often take walks so that I can get my fill of the outdoors – being a biologist, I am always interested in sharing the language of nature with my family. This particular evening, however, one rather nasty bit of nature reared its ugly head and…bit Mrs. Translator. Many times....

Mrs. Translator's Bitey Back.

Who the hell invented mosquitoes? Because that person should be shot. Then hung. Then shot again. Then drawn and quartered. Then thrown in the river. Not just a creek – a raging torrential thing. Then kicked in the nubblies.

A bitey bugger.

Ok, silly question. Again, as a biologist, I know the language of nature is often complex and full of crisscrossing logic and syntax. I know that mosquitoes play their part in the great circle of life, but do they have to be so dang – mosquitoish?

And what’s with certain people being lunch while others (like myself) are lucky enough to remain uneaten? Bite count: Mrs. Translator = 10, Translator = 0. I’m sure there’s a biological explanation, but I’m not inspired enough to look it up. I guess if I was an eatee instead of a non-eatee, I might be more inclined to do so. Any input on this one?

Here are a few facts about our little bitey friends from Wikipedia:

The mosquito genus Anopheles carries the malaria parasite (see Plasmodium). Worldwide, malaria is a leading cause of premature mortality, particularly in children under the age of five, with around 5.3 million deaths annually, according to Center for Disease Control.

Greatest cause of death under the age of five, eh? Tiny little buggers, and yet so deadly. I say we wipe the buggers out. Bring on the deet. Bring on the Chloroquine, the permethrin and citronella in truckloads. Because calomine doesn’t smell very nice and I'm sick of scratching.

Mosquitoes: deadly, bitey, plague-bringers...itty, bitty package. An inscrutable word in the language of nature.

I just don't get it. Can you help me translate?